We are better together

Have we bought into the lie of being an island? Inspired by a timeless Simon and Garfunkel song, this reflection dives into the struggles of young people battling alone, the myth of self-reliance, and the transformative power of connection. Read on to rediscover why we are truly better together.

The other day, I heard the timeless Simon and Garfunkel song “I Am a Rock.” My dad loved listening to them, along with Pink Floyd and similar artists. Hearing the song again reminded me of the power of music and how lyrics often resonate deeper within us than we realize. But as I listened, the lyrics brought a sense of sadness:

“I am alone, gazing from my window to the streets below. On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow. I am a rock, I am an island.”

Too often, I meet young people grappling with anxiety and depression. Many feel they must face these struggles alone, ashamed that they can’t manage them by themselves.

They work hard to mask their pain, pretending everything is fine—until one day, the cracks show. These are the ones who catch us off guard, going from seemingly strong and successful to falling apart overnight.

Part of their struggle stems from the myth of the self-made person—the fairy tale of rising from rags to riches without help, of being an island unto oneself.

But the truth is, not one of us is self-made.

Each of us stands where we are today because someone cared for us when we were young. Even if those relationships weren’t perfect or caused pain, they still contributed to who we’ve become.

I’m reminded of a woman named Lynne Chaffey, who played a pivotal role in my journey. When I first shared my dream of working with young people, she didn’t hesitate. “Let’s do it,” she said. Her encouragement turned an idea into a reality and set me on the path I’m on today.

We all need that kind of support. Research shows we are hardwired for connection, which is why, in my work with youth, we strive to involve parents and teachers as much as possible. True growth and healing come through relationships.

As I reflect on the struggles I’ve witnessed and the people who have shaped my life, my hope is this: that we can set aside our pride and reach out. Whether we’re experiencing success or sorrow, we thrive when we connect with others.

We are better together, stronger together, and all the richer for it.

Michael Wilkes - Thrive Trust Youth Worker and Author of The Unschooled Life